Take a Step Into the Dark. The Light Will Come.

 

"Opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened...There are cautions and considerations to make but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts...face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

 

This quote has been my lifesaver this summer as I've been preparing for a mission. Satan works so hard on those who are striving to follow God's will and difficulties will always arise anytime something good has happened just as Elder Holland said.

 

As it grows closer and closer to my MTC entry date my emotions gradually build to bursting. I have never been so excited for anything in my life but I also have never been so terrified either. I have become obsessed with reading mission blogs feasting on anything that will give me any hint as to what it's like and how to prepare.

 

As the summer continues my fear and anxiety mount. I am constantly filled with thoughts of doubt and discouragement. I keep thinking, "What in the world I have I gotten myself into?"

 

But if there is anything at all that I've learned it's that fear and doubt DO NOT come from God.

Heavenly Father sends only His peace, hope, and assurance. He loves us and wants what is best for us. He gave us His son so that we wouldn't have to go through this life alone. God is LOVE. Not fear, not doubt, not discouragement.

 

God will make a way when there is no way.

1 Nephi 3:7

    I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

 

 

Knowing this truth, I never have to be scared. Because I know that I don't have to do it alone, in fact I couldn't even if I wanted to. Heavenly Father will always be there with me. I am doing HIS work so how could I possibly fail?

 

God doesn't call the qualified.

He qualifies the called. 

The Decision

I have always wanted to serve a mission. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to wear that missionary name tag, so when President Monson announced the missionary age change last October I was thrown a curveball. A mission was definitely something I wanted but I never imagined it could be this soon! I was immediately filled with panic and excitement. The only thing I could think was, "I could be gone this time next year. I could be on a mission." For many of my friends they got an immediate witness that they should serve a mission. I on the other hand, did not.

I always over analyze EVERYTHING. It's just, unfortunately, who I am. So making the decision to serve a mission was not an easy one. I weighed all my options, I prayed, I fasted, I talked it over and over and over with anyone who would listen to me. Those few months trying to decide were the most difficult. I was expecting a big huge answer-a choir of angels and a burst of light singing to me YES! Go! But there never was one so I thought Heavenly Father wasn't giving me an answer and I was so lost and I was so terrified that I was going to make the wrong decision. Finally my Mom shared this quote with me.

           What do you do when you have prepared carefully, have prayed fervently, waited a reasonable time for a response and still do not feel an answer? You may want to express thanks when that occurs for it is evidence of HIs trust. When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior's teachings and you need to act, proceed with trust. As you are sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit one of two things will occur at the appropriate time: either stupor of thought will come indicating an improper choice or the peace or the burning of the bosom will be felt confirming that your choice was correct. When you are living righteously and are acting with trust God will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made a wrong decision. -Elder Scott (April 2007)

And suddenly I knew that God trusted me to make the right decision. So I finally decided and turned in my papers. Now I realize that God didn't give me a huge grand answer so that I could learn to trust not only Him but also myself. So I could rely more on the Holy Ghost and the quiet promptings I receive. 

On April 27th, I opened my calling to serve a mission. I am called to serve in the PARIS FRANCE Mission!!!! I couldn't believe it!! I am beyond thrilled to serve the people of France!! That very day I started my countdown-143 days until the MTC. I'm currently down to 44 days. And I've never been so excited in my life!! I know that what I'm doing is exactly what Heavenly Father wants me to do. I can't wait to serve Him and His children and to spread the wonderful knowledge and truth that I have!