Sweet is the Work

oh la la. this week was WONDERFUL!!! minus the fact that I was out of my beloved Liege fromTuesda evening until Friday afternoon but it was for a good cause. 

We had a beautiful miracle Tuesday morning. We had a rdv set with Enza and had invited a member, Soeur Quarre to come with us, she actually showed up before us and they hit it off really well. Get this. ENZA READ THE BOOK OF MORMON!!!!!!! considering that just a few months ago she was too sick to read, I practically leaped out of my chair when she told us she had read the verse we had given her. And then we had a beautiful discussion about having faith and praying sincerely. Soeur Quarre shared her conversion story and the Spirit was SO strong. i cant wait to see her again because every time we go she is doing better and better. I cant believe how much Enza has changed since I met her. it has been such a blessing to me to see the Gospel bring a light and joy to her life she has never seen. 

Tuesday night we hopped on a train to Paris and stayed the night in St. Ouen and Wednesday morning headed out to take care of my French legality. Thankfully, everything went smoothly and we back in St.Ouen early afternoon to do some weekly planning. I was really sick that day so it was nice to be able to just relax and do planning and studying all day in preparation for the mission conference the next day. 

Thursdaymorning we arrived in Versailles for the mission conference with Elder Cook and I cant even describe to you how absolutley incredible it was. First off I was able to reunite briefly with my favorite human Soeur Abigail Hosking. I almost died of happiness, i have missed her so much and I was SO excited to get a chance to catch up a bit. And then Elder Cook came in and we were all able to shake his hand. The Spirit emanating from him was so powerful, it was really cool to shake his hand and feel of the power that he has as an Apostle of the Lord. He had a lot of really wonderful advice for us that would take me days to write about but at the end he left us with a blessing that left us all crying. He promised us that we would come to understand the impact of our missions. He promised that EVERYBODY we loved would be blessed because of our service and I felt so grateful to know that everyone i loved is being taken care of while i'm gone. He also talked to us very honestly about his feelings when he was called to be an Apostle. He was so humble and so faithful as he accepted the calling and it was a huge testimony to me that Heavenly Father can truly take flawed and weak people and if they are willing, He will make them mighty instruments in His hands. He gave me a lot of hope for myself :) We sang I believe in Christ for the closing hymn and everyone was sniffling through the whole thing. We stood 280 strong as Elder Cook left the chapel and the Spirit was so powerful it was almost tangible. I felt like Heavenly Father was standing there with us so proud of the Paris France Mission, not because we were perfect missionaries but because we were trying so hard to bring His children back, it was a beautiful moment. 

After the conference I went with Soeur Pettingill to Bruxelles for exchanges. It was really fun and she taught me a lot. Finally Friday afternoon I was back in my Liege to take care of my favorite people! That night we went to see a less active family and they suprised us with dinner! So we were stuffed by the time we left because we had already eaten haha but Soeur Matagne was so excited to have us and she had spent so much on the meal we couldnt say no. I absolutely adore the Family Matagne, they were baptized only three years ago and they have such solid testimonies, its just difficult for them to make to church all the time because they are often sick. (like everyone else in Liege, might i add we had yet two more amies go to the hospital this week...) We took the bus home and they watched us from their kitchen window to make sure we made it safely onto the bus. they are adorable. I am so grateful for all the people in Liege! I love the people so much here I feel like my heart has just expanded like 10 times since I arrived!

Quote time: “I am a witness,” Elder Ballard said, “that there is a spirit attending the administration of the sacrament that warms the soul from head to foot; you feel the wounds of the spirit being healed, and the load being lifted. Comfort and happiness come to the soul that is worthy and truly desirous of partaking of this spiritual food.” I felt my wounds being healed and my burdens being lifted as I partook of the Sacrament yesterday at Church. Elder Holland says the Sacrament can be a "holy communion" with God and I truly felt His love and the cleansing and enabling power of His Son's Atonement while I sat as the Sacrament was passed. It was a liberating experience for me to feel my mistakes and anxieties of the last week being washed away and the hope of a new one ahead when I could try again. I have always taken the Sacrament for granted but it is such a huge privilege for each of us to truly renew our covanents with God and to experience the Atonement in a very real way. I am so grateful to be able to go to church every week and partake of this "renewal of the soul." 

I feel so grateful today for this beautiful mission Heavenly Father has let me experience. There are a lot of bitter moments but i love the phrase, sweet is the work. Although its not always easy, I have gained so much from these experiences. So many, many precious friendships and so many wonderful lessons learned. I cant ever thank my loving Father in Heaven enough for my mission! 

avec beaucoup d'amour soeur hawkes

Soo we made apple pie and also pumpkin pie from scratch for our Thanksgiving lunch with the district tomorrow. It was so much fun! Soeur Clawson and I made our apple pie might I brag for two seconds about the fact that I made pie crust from scratch? Haha I felt so domestic! 

Reunited at the Cook Conference.

My dearest beloved Soeur Hosking. I miss her already.

Great Challenges Make Great Men

This week was absolutely beautiful. We had so many miracles and I just felt an immense peace and happiness, it was so great. 

On Thursday evening we were finally able to meet with a woman we had met porting last transfer. She had been in the hospital (just like everyone else in this town) but she was finally better and we were so excited to finally meet with her! She has an 8 year old daughter who loves religion. She was really excited when we started talking about Jesus Christ. She said He was the king of love. totes adorbs. We told them about our purpose as missionaries and explained prophets and a little bit about the Book of Mormon and they were SO excited. It was wonderful, the Spirit was so strong and they were so open and ready! We will see them again this week and hopefully they can come to church! 

Friday morning we went to see Enza, i love her so much but she really hasn't been progressing at all towards baptism but we decided to go over the Restoration again. We retold the story of Joseph Smith and asked her if she believed it was true. She said "I want to believe it but I don't know for sure" it was perfect. We explained she could know for herself through the Book of Mormon and she got SO excited and promised she would read and pray about it. and get this. She said she would come to church as soon as she was feeling better!!! We had already invited her several times but she always said no! it was such a miracle rdv! The Spirit has really softened her heart. 

 As I said in an email a few weeks ago the majority of our amies were in the hospital and that number keeps getting bigger and bigger! I don't know what is going on but its great for the Elders because we just go around with them and visit everybody so they can give them blessings. It is really cool to witness the healing power of the priesthood. I know without a doubt it truly is the power of God. On Thursday we were able to go one of our less actives with the Elders and they gave her a beautiful blessing and I have never seen her so happy in the four months that I have known her. They brought her a light and a joy she hasn't felt for a really long time and it was so cool to witness that. 

 I feel that while I have been here in Liege Heavenly Father has really tried hard to teach me to trust Him. Sometimes bad or stressful things happen and I have a tendency to start panicking but I wonder if that's why Heavenly Father lets them happen, so that I can learn to trust Him...after all He says "I having provided some better things for them through their sufferings for without suffering they could not be made perfect." (Heb. 11:20 JST) It is through our struggles that we truly "come unto Christ and are perfected in Him". And it is when with Job we say "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" that we can know Him better and feel His love more constantly. 

I read a great talk by Elder Hales about Waiting Upon the Lord this week. He says, "the Lord knows your sacrifices and your sorrows. He hears your prayers. His peace and rest will be yours as you continue to wait upon Him in faith." As we wait upon the Lord and keep our vision fixed on Him we will be able to overcome all challenges and grow to become more like Him. I know that even when it doesn't look like everything will be okay, it always turns out just the way He wants it to. He loves each of us and He wants to take care of us, He wants to help us if we would just turn to Him.

 

avec beaucoup d'amour soeur hawkes 

That my friends is a meat triade(translation:machine gun. no joke). It took the both of us to finish it and we still felt sick afterwards. but worth it. 

Sharing the Gospel everywhere we go...

From Trial Comes Refined Beauty

A new transfer has begun!! It will only be four weeks long so I have to work so hard to fortify my Liege before I leave! 

Tuesday morning we headed to the gare to catch a train to Bruxelles, where we would have our last district meeting and then head straight to Paris. However while waiting for the train we realized that Soeur Clawson didnt have her passport which needed to complete her legality. Our train was 15 minutes late so we thought if we hurried we might make it. so we took of running home, halfway there the Soeurs call and say its now 22 minutes late, we run into the apartment and back out the door to hop on a bus. They call again and say the train is now 33 minutes late, as soon as the bus pulled up to the gare we flew off and arrived at the same time as our train. miracles :) 

After a lovely last district meeting we headed to Paris. oh I adore Paris! it is so magical! that evening we had crepes for dinner and saw Notre Dame and the lock bridge. Then we went to stay in the Paris STLs appartment where Soeur Bradley and her companion live too. I was so excited to see Soeur Bradley again especially since she is finishing her mission this week. We had a beautiful talk about our missions and the things they've taught us and how much we have changed. It was like taking a great big breath. I felt so light and lifted after talking with her. She told me that it's not really glorious if it's not hard. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy and that absolutely describes a mission. This has been so hard. So heart wrenchingly difficult but it has been so gloriously beautiful. I have never experienced so much happiness and so much love, and that makes up for every hard moment I have had. I am so grateful for Soeur Bradley and for all the people that God has put into my life during these 14 months. They have changed and shaped me and truly helped me to become who I want to be. People come into our lives for a reason and we can learn so much from them.

Being in Paris was so much fun, we were able to see so many gorgeous things! The entire time I felt so awestruck and soo spoiled. I cant believe Heavenly Father would let me come serve a mission for Him in Europe! I live in Belgium and I visit Paris! Is this not the dream?! Heavenly Father is way too good to me. I loved being in Paris, there is so much history and so many, many people. And the French accent! oh la I have missed it! Dont get me wrong I love my Liegeoise but their accent is terrible compared to the beautiful French of the Parisiens. It was a wonderful trip. Even though I did lose my wallet on the train back to Bruxelles, that has been stressful but luckily I will be able to replace everything inside, it'll just take time. 

While in Paris, I chatted with Soeur Hopkins who is serving in Tours, she was telling me about a lesson they had taught for FHE a few weeks ago. they talked about the Brother of Jared and how the Lord told him to build the barges to travel across the sea but left him on his own to figure out how they would have light throughout their journey. And the Brother of Jared brought him some rocks. Soeur Hopkins said, "sometimes all we can do is give God our bag of rocks and say, well this is what I have, will you make it into something useful?" Our abilities can seem so limited and our offerings so small but because His grace is sufficient our efforts can be enough. Even though I am far from perfect "the Savior takes my sincere but imperfect effort and turns it into something that is just right, indeed, into something that is perfect" Despite my weaknesses and I can be made strong through the enabling power of my Savior's Atonement. I am so grateful for this truth and the hope and happiness it offers. I am so grateful to know that I have a loving Heavenly Father is so mercifully kind and patient. I know that although we have hard times and we may have to take a leap of faith He is always there, I love Him so much and I am so grateful for the miracle of my mission that He has given me. and I am so grateful for each of you , for your support, your encouragement and your prayers. i love you so much!!

avec amour soeur hawkes 

The Fabulous Foursome

Because it was Soeur Bingham's last p day eve with us we took all our mattresses into the front room and had a party. we took jumping pictures and laughed until we cried. I am going to miss Soeur Bingham sooo much!! 

Paris holds the key to my heart!

The Lock Bridge!

Everyone from everywhere puts the locks on the bridge to seal their love and drop the keys in the river it is so cool! 

L'Arc de Triomphe

Crepes and Frozen yogurt

Le Louvre

 Notre Dame! You can't really see it but use your imagination haha!

Three Hundred and Seventy-Four Steps

soo there's this staircase in Liege....

The district

Sacre Coeur

God loves you just the way you are. But He refuses to leave you that way.

This week was really, really lovely. we had zone conference, interviews, stake conference and lots and lots of miracles! It was really wonderful after the week before.

So on Wednesday we went to our lesson with Sarah and Virginia and I was really scared. Because I love them so much and we wanted to help them keep their engagements so we were going to talk very frankly with them about why they weren't keeping the commitments we gave them, specifically about coming to church. The last time we talked about church attendance it was an absolute disaster so we prayed really hard that it would go well this time. That morning we received the announcements from Soeur and President Babin and Soeur Babin shared 1 john 4:18-21 there is no fear in love. That phrase kept running through my head as we sat down with Sarah and Virginia and after the prayer, we just expressed how much we loved them and shared our testimonies of why we were here as missionaries and it was absolutely incredible! They opened up and shared with us their concerns and we committed them to come to church the 16th! I was so excited! The Spirit really softened their hearts and it was truly a miracle that they were so open. 

 On Tuesday we were able to go porting and we had some great miracles! and some really funny experiences too. At one house, Soeur Clawson rings the doorbell for the first floor apartment, waits only 30 seconds and presses the doorbell for the 2nd floor apartment. All the sudden the blinds on the first floor go up, so we step over to talk to the person, but its a really old lady and the window is still shut. We cant talk through the window so we just stood there waving at her while she just stared at us. and then! the 2nd floor people stick their heads out their window and ask us what we want! after they rejected us we turned back to the old lady and she just closed her blinds. Haha it was so absurd and we just died laughing. i love porting so much. Later we were standing at the bus stop to go home and I was on the phone so I wasn't paying attention and suddenly the bus passes by without stopping! so i turn to Sr Clawson and say that was ours! her eyes go wide and then she takes off running after it! so we ran after it for a while but couldn't beat it to the next stop so we ended up walking for quite a while :) 

On Friday we went to Bruxelles for Zone Conference and interviews with President and Soeur Babin. it was fabulous. I love them so much. They are such wonderful people, so in tune with the spirit and so full of love for us! I always love conferences because they say exactly what I need to hear! it is wonderful. They really helped me to prioritize my goals and become a better missionary. 

On Sunday we went back to Bruxelles for Stake Conference and President and Soeur Babin spoke again! During President's talk he made all the missionaries stand up. We were all the missionaries in the French speaking side of Belgium. President said, "Look at them. They are angels sent from our loving Heavenly Father to change Belgium. To change the lives here." It was really cool to see for a moment what members think of us. So often i feel so looked down upon by all the people who reject us but truly we as missionaries are an expression of God's love and I feel so honored to be His instrument here in Belgium!

This morning I was reading in Helamen 5 about Nephi and Lehi going out preaching to the people when they get thrown in prison. While they're there surrounded by the people a voice comes from Heaven saying, Repent ye, repent ye, and seek no more to destroy my servants whom I have sent unto you to declare good tidings.And it came to pass when they heard this voice, and beheld that it was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of a great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper, and it did pierce even to the very soul.

Sister Wixom says, "We can learn from that voice from heaven. It was not loud, scolding, or demeaning; it was a still voice of perfect mildness, giving firm direction while giving hope." 

I have really come to learn that Heavenly Father does not condemn us when we sin and especially not when we make mistakes due to our own human weaknesses. He speaks to us with a voice of perfect mildness giving firm direction while giving hope. Satan always tries to discourage us but our loving Heavenly Father only wants to help us grow and progress. This last week I tried so hard to overcome my discouragement and my weaknesses and mistakes. And I definitely failed quite a bit, but there were times when I prayed for strength and I felt the enabling power of His Atonement take my flawed effort and make it into something perfect. He strengthened me to do more than I would have been capable of on my own. And when I saw that and truly experienced it for myself I felt so much hope and happiness. Because my Savior is there with me every single step and He doesnt want me to wait for joy when I'm perfect, He wants me to have joy right here right now as I'm struggling and striving to become like Him. 

My mission has taught me so many beautiful things. I have learned to be happy right now despite my challenges and weaknesses. I am so grateful for the time Heavenly Father has given me out here, for the changes that He has helped me make. A year ago I came into France and now I am a completely different person. I love Him so much and I am so grateful for the countless blessings He has given me. 

avec amour soeur hawkes 

We bought snacks for our trip to Paris. we eat way too much chocolate fo sho!

Us and the Steenbliks. They're the senior couple in Bruxelles. I love them so much!

Me and my bleue.  I absolutely adore her.

The four of us are best friends. i adore them so much! 

we had a pizza party after service a few Saturdays ago.

They were so tired on the way to zone conference!

Train rides always make everybody drowsy. Haha!

Happy Halloween! We dressed up during our dinner hour and had our own little party with french candy and had a dance party with the soundtrack from Frozen.I was a mom, Soeur Bingham was an African. Soeur Hogan was a hippie and Soeur Clawson was a superhero. it was so much fun. I love these ladies so much!!

Kinder eggs for Halloween! they are chocolate eggs with fun surprises inside!

Soeur hogan fell asleep on the train ride home and we tried everything to wake her up. She didn't until Soeur Clawson sat on her!