This week was really, really lovely. we had zone conference, interviews, stake conference and lots and lots of miracles! It was really wonderful after the week before.
So on Wednesday we went to our lesson with Sarah and Virginia and I was really scared. Because I love them so much and we wanted to help them keep their engagements so we were going to talk very frankly with them about why they weren't keeping the commitments we gave them, specifically about coming to church. The last time we talked about church attendance it was an absolute disaster so we prayed really hard that it would go well this time. That morning we received the announcements from Soeur and President Babin and Soeur Babin shared 1 john 4:18-21 there is no fear in love. That phrase kept running through my head as we sat down with Sarah and Virginia and after the prayer, we just expressed how much we loved them and shared our testimonies of why we were here as missionaries and it was absolutely incredible! They opened up and shared with us their concerns and we committed them to come to church the 16th! I was so excited! The Spirit really softened their hearts and it was truly a miracle that they were so open.
On Tuesday we were able to go porting and we had some great miracles! and some really funny experiences too. At one house, Soeur Clawson rings the doorbell for the first floor apartment, waits only 30 seconds and presses the doorbell for the 2nd floor apartment. All the sudden the blinds on the first floor go up, so we step over to talk to the person, but its a really old lady and the window is still shut. We cant talk through the window so we just stood there waving at her while she just stared at us. and then! the 2nd floor people stick their heads out their window and ask us what we want! after they rejected us we turned back to the old lady and she just closed her blinds. Haha it was so absurd and we just died laughing. i love porting so much. Later we were standing at the bus stop to go home and I was on the phone so I wasn't paying attention and suddenly the bus passes by without stopping! so i turn to Sr Clawson and say that was ours! her eyes go wide and then she takes off running after it! so we ran after it for a while but couldn't beat it to the next stop so we ended up walking for quite a while :)
On Friday we went to Bruxelles for Zone Conference and interviews with President and Soeur Babin. it was fabulous. I love them so much. They are such wonderful people, so in tune with the spirit and so full of love for us! I always love conferences because they say exactly what I need to hear! it is wonderful. They really helped me to prioritize my goals and become a better missionary.
On Sunday we went back to Bruxelles for Stake Conference and President and Soeur Babin spoke again! During President's talk he made all the missionaries stand up. We were all the missionaries in the French speaking side of Belgium. President said, "Look at them. They are angels sent from our loving Heavenly Father to change Belgium. To change the lives here." It was really cool to see for a moment what members think of us. So often i feel so looked down upon by all the people who reject us but truly we as missionaries are an expression of God's love and I feel so honored to be His instrument here in Belgium!
This morning I was reading in Helamen 5 about Nephi and Lehi going out preaching to the people when they get thrown in prison. While they're there surrounded by the people a voice comes from Heaven saying, Repent ye, repent ye, and seek no more to destroy my servants whom I have sent unto you to declare good tidings.And it came to pass when they heard this voice, and beheld that it was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of a great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper, and it did pierce even to the very soul.
Sister Wixom says, "We can learn from that voice from heaven. It was not loud, scolding, or demeaning; it was a still voice of perfect mildness, giving firm direction while giving hope."
I have really come to learn that Heavenly Father does not condemn us when we sin and especially not when we make mistakes due to our own human weaknesses. He speaks to us with a voice of perfect mildness giving firm direction while giving hope. Satan always tries to discourage us but our loving Heavenly Father only wants to help us grow and progress. This last week I tried so hard to overcome my discouragement and my weaknesses and mistakes. And I definitely failed quite a bit, but there were times when I prayed for strength and I felt the enabling power of His Atonement take my flawed effort and make it into something perfect. He strengthened me to do more than I would have been capable of on my own. And when I saw that and truly experienced it for myself I felt so much hope and happiness. Because my Savior is there with me every single step and He doesnt want me to wait for joy when I'm perfect, He wants me to have joy right here right now as I'm struggling and striving to become like Him.
My mission has taught me so many beautiful things. I have learned to be happy right now despite my challenges and weaknesses. I am so grateful for the time Heavenly Father has given me out here, for the changes that He has helped me make. A year ago I came into France and now I am a completely different person. I love Him so much and I am so grateful for the countless blessings He has given me.
avec amour soeur hawkes
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