How firm a foundation

This week was... really really difficult. But wonderful as well. I suppose the bitter always comes with the sweet. 

Wednesday we went into Paris and I said goodbye to my Soeur Hosking. ouch. my heart broke a little bit. She has been my BEST friend for the past 8 weeks and she was leaving me! But I know that the people in Nancy need her more than I do now and obviously we'll be best friends for the rest of our lives. Heavenly Father is way too kind to me, always giving me best friends for companions! Then the trainers had a little formation and we learned some essentials about how to help our new missionaries and then they ushered the new missionaries in. The first sister that came in, I recognized immediately as mine. I didn't know her name or anything at all yet but I knew she would be my companion. And I felt SO much love her already, it was like Heavenly Father was giving me just a teeny tiny portion of His love. It was seriously so cool! She is Soeur Courtney Clawson from Centerville Utah. When I found out she was a fellow Utah Stater I almost died of happiness! The crazy thing is, her sister is best friends with my old roommates!! the world is so small. And then our adventures commenced. 

First off, it was 4 Soeurs against 8 giant suitcases, cobble stoned streets and broken escalators, so naturally we missed our train back to Belgium. And then we couldn't exchange our tickets so we missed the next one and then our phones weren't working so we couldn't receive our new tickets so we missed another train. Finally we got on a train around 5:30 our poor blues were SO exhausted. I felt so terrible! We eventually made it home to Liege in one piece thank goodness.

Thursday we began our missionary work and I was absolutely amazed by Soeur Clawson. They say perfect love casteth out fear and that perfectly describes my companion. She just loves everyone to pieces and isn't afraid to speak up even if she doesn't know how to say it perfectly in French. She is a much better missionary than I could ever hope to be already. She has helped me so much in just the few days that we have been together! We are actually very similar in our perfectionist ways so she's had a lot of advice for me and its been so fun getting to know her! 

This past week I felt like I was back to square one. I was making the same old mistakes I thought I had gotten rid of. It was like everything I thought I had overcome was back, like I hadn't changed at all despite this past year. I couldnt understand why! But then we went to General Conference and I felt like God was talking directly to me, I received so much inspiration. He opened my eyes to see that even though I was making the same mistakes and was struggling with the same weaknesses I thought I had overcome, I was reacting in a completely different way than I had last year. I am so much stronger now than I was a year ago. Heavenly Father let me struggle with the same things to allow me to see how much I really have changed. This past year I have been slowly laying my foundation upon my Savior Jesus Christ. Bit by bit, I have come to know of the reality of the Atonement for myself and it wasn't until the winds came that I realized how far I have come with the help of my Savior. I know that He is our only firm foundation and that through Him we can change and become better. Sister Esplin talked about the Sacrament in conference and I loved that she said we should note the mistakes that we make and how to improve but more importantly we should recognize the moments that the Savior has offered us His enabling power to strengthen us. I know that the Savior is with me each step of every day. I simply could not do this without Him and I am so grateful for the opportunity to proudly wear this missionary badge. My mission means everything to me. I have been so blessed and so changed by this experience. Thank you to everyone for supporting me and praying for me, I feel your prayers! I love you all soo much.

avec amour soeur hawkes 

Our Liege family, I adore them :) 

Soeur Hosking and I. Our last elevator selfie together. can you tell its 6:00a.m.? Haha!

Soeur Clawson's first gauffre from Belgium. They are to die for! 

This huge fair is literally right outside our door and it smells SO good. we went and gorged a little bit this afternoon :) 

The Lord doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called

The news is in. Transfer 9 has begun. And Soeur Hosking will be leaving for Nancy to be an STL. And I will be going to Paris on Wednesday to pick up my new companion who will be coming fresh from the MTC! I am so thrilled! I don't know anything about her yet but I am so excited for her to come to Liege. Also they are opening up Liege 1 again so we are back to four sisters in Liege!! All of the members were SO excited when we told them on Sunday. I am pretty happy to go back to taking care of just one branch, it definitely lifts a load off my shoulders! 

So this week we went to find a referral who had ordered a Book of Mormon online that we had received, however, she lived really far away in a little town I hadn't heard of but Soeur Hosking and I love adventures so we hopped on a train and went for it. After a 20 minute train ride, a 1 hour wait, and a 30 minute bus ride we found ourselves in Hannut. We located her house and rang the doorbell. Marie-Therese answered and I introduced ourselves, she was so surprised to find that the church had sent missionaries instead of just mailing a copy of the book to her. She let us in and we had a wonderful discussion. She is SO golden. She had so many amazing questions and she kept saying how she didn't understand why there were so many different churches if there is only one God.  She was so excited to read the Book of Mormon. It was too perfect! I cant wait to see her next week! After we left we headed back to the bus stop and realized we had missed our bus and the next one wouldn't be coming for another hour. So we decided to catch the bus going the other direction and find a train station and just take a train back to Liege. So we arrived at a train station walked and realized everything was in Flemish. We couldn't understand anyone or anything. I felt like a bleue again. We were on the Flemish side of Belgium. Which is also outside our mission boundaries. But a train was coming in an hour and there were chocolate waffles in the vending machine and we had just found a new amie so it turned out alright, as it always does. I love all the adventures I have with Soeur Hosking, life is never dull with her. Being with her has really taught me to just let my worries go. She has helped me to simply live in the moment instead of worrying about the next one that's coming. I am so sad she is leaving but I know we'll always be best friends and the people in Nancy need her more than I do now I guess. Yesterday we went to say goodbye to a member and he said that loving is also letting go. If we never say goodbye that is really selfish because other people need them too. I love that idea. It takes away the sting of goodbye a little bit. I am so grateful Heavenly Father let me be with Soeur Hosking here in Liege, I have learned so much from her and I am so grateful for her in my life!

So Nephi is basically my hero. I began rereading the Book of Mormon recently and I love to read about how much faith and trust Nephi has in God. It is absolutely incredible to see all the hard tasks the Lord gives him and Nephi's like sure I'll do it. Whatever you want, I'm there. My favorite is when the Lord commands him to build a boat and he doesnt even hesitate he just says, tell me how to do it and I will. And then his brothers come in and they're making fun of him and Nephi says this, If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done. And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship? (1 Nephi 17:50-51)

I absolutely LOVE that. Nephi is so good at remembering the past and the miracles God has already wrought. He has so much faith and so much trust. He has seen the Lord deliver him and his family so many times and he knows without a doubt God will continue to guide him and help him. I want to trust God like that too. I want to yield to His vision that is higher and holier than my own even when and especially when I don't see a vision at all. I am a little bit nervous to train a new missionary but I know that if God can help Nephi build a boat I am pretty dang sure He can help me take care of Liege and my new companion. I am so grateful that I know my Heavenly Father is there and that He loves and knows me. These past two transfers in Liege I feel like God has been trying to teach me to let go of my need for control and hand it to Him. He has been trying to teach me to trust Him and be happy and hopeful even when I don't see the solution. And now He is giving me the chance to put into practice what I've been learning. He's much too kind. :) I am so grateful to be a missionary. I can't believe how fast the time goes and I am eternally grateful for this opportunity that I have had. I have learned and changed so much and I feel much happier than I ever have before. I love you all so much and I am so grateful for your prayers and support! 

avec amour soeur hawkes 

We did service with the Elders on Saturday, we took down wallpaper and painted the outside of the house. It was so fun! especially trying to find the member,s house because she lives in a forest! we were walking through all the trees and old abandoned houses it was pretty creepy. Elder Jones said,"if her house is covered in candy I'm out!!" haha it was a great adventure, a last hurrah all together. 

I adore Soeur Hosking so much. 

                                               and those elders in the back photobombing...oh la

Soo we made cinnamon rolls except we ran out of cinnamon... so we put speculoos spice in it and I was super worried but all the Elders LOVED it so I guess it turned out alright. 

Selfie! 

This has been one of the funnest transfers, I love soeur hosking so much, she is definitely one of my best friends now! I cant wait to visit her in California next year!

Stranded in Landen. On the Flemish side of Belgium. Outside our mission. oops...

We got SO dirty. covered in plaster and paint and dirt 

It took so long to get the paint off!! we had to run home and scrub really quick so we could make it to our rdv that evening. #alwaysinahurry 

When you're perplexed about which turn to take... kneel down.

So this week we went into Paris for legality for Elder Mosley and I and it was quite the adventure. Tuesday afternoon we ran home from Brussels to pack our bags then we got ice cream with the Elders. On the bus to the gare to catch our train we realized we had two minutes to catch the train. So we busted out the doors as soon as the bus arrived at the stop and we booked it into the gare and we missed the train by a few minutes. So we ran to the info desk and learned that if we caught a train to Brussels that very moment we could catch a train from there to Paris, so we ran to our voie and jumped on. We joked and laughed until Brussels where we once again ran for our train, only when we went to get on the train we realized the tickets were GONE. So the Elders ran back retracing our steps to find them but to no avail. So we ran along the train with only two minutes before it left looking for the manager and explained the situation all of us sweating and heaving. He looked at us and told us to get on. It was a miracle!! We spent the first 20 minutes of our train ride discussing the probablity of him being one of the three Nephites, I mean he had long hair and a very kind disposition. We said a prayer of thanks for being able to be on our way to Paris. Once we arrived, we parted ways and got to the Versailles Soeurs apartment around 11. We fell right to sleep and the next morning headed into Paris for legality, but once there we learned that they wouldnt be processing my type of paperwork on Wednsdays. But a very kind worker helped me put all my papers together and we dropped them off at the Church's visitor center so the Paris Elders could take care of it for me. We ate tons of delicious food and then Elder Mosley, Soeur Hosking and I followed Elder Strauss around while he shopped and we told embarrassing stories and laughed our heads off in the middle of Nike. I am so grateful that we had those Elders with us, they took care of us and made sure everything turned out allright despite all the unexpected changes that kept happening. 

When we finally got back to Belgium we started exchanges right away and Soeur Whisler and I went to see Gwen and Prince. We began teaching the Plan of Salvation and they were so excited about it! Prince kept saying that he believed there was something after death but he never could figure out what so he was thrilled about the brochure we gave him. I adore them so much, they just eat up everything we give them and they are so excited to get baptized! I cant wait!! 

Sarah is doing well, she is still on track to be baptized and she seems excited about learning everything. We have an FHE set up with a family in the branch this week so I am excited to begin integrating them into the branch. 

So Thursday evening Soeur Hosking were waiting at a bus stop and we started singing a Relient K song to ourselves because we were bored and talking and laughing in English and an older couple came up and asked us in accented English where we were from! We explained we were American missionaries for our church and they started asking us questions. When they found out we were the Mormons they told us they always thought Mormons were straight faced, straight laced closed doors people. But because they met us they know we are happy loving people willing and ready to answer any questions about our beliefs!  Singing songs is a great way to get contacted haha and that wasnt the first time either and probably wont be the last! 

Saturday we went to the Fete de Wallonie which is basically a county fair, there were concerts and lots of booths selling so much Liegiose food, it was so great! We ate a lovely dinner there and our waiter was Tony from Italy. He asked us where we were from. (sometimes I am really grateful for our thick American accents!) We explained who we were and what we were doing and he took a seat to talk to us about Jesus. He was so hilarious! we gave him a plan of salvation pamphlet and he remarked the beautiful picture of Jesus on the front and explained to us that because Jesus was a jew he could not have been that beautiful. He was a real riot but he promised to read the brochure, planting seeds! I love it :) 

It was a lovely week full of great adventures and wonderful miracles! At the beginning of the week I was stressed out of my mind wondering how the week would go and praying that everything would happen smoothly and that I would be able to take care of our amies. There were certainly stressful moments but God was with me every step of the way and He strengthened me when I seemed to falter. Elder Holland talks about trusting God even when it is hard and submitting to His will even when it seems painful to us. He asks, "When we see the Savior again will we be able to say, that we yielded to a vision higher and holier than our own even when we may have seen no vision at all?" I absolutely adore that. Do I yield to a vision higher and holier to mine? Do I trust Him even when I can see no way out of my problems? Do I follow His words even when I cant see the reason why? I feel like since I have been in Liege I have been learning more and more everyday to trust my Heavenly Father. To trust that He knows better than I and that He can take care of me and my family and my amies better than I could. Sometimes things happen and I dont know why. Doubting thoughts creep into my mind and I find myself wondering why God would let something like that happen but then I remember alll the times He has helped me in the past and I look at my life and all I see are His tender mercies and evidence of His love and I know that He will take care of me just as He always has. I know that God is there. I know that we are His children and He wants so much to take care of us if we only let Him. He is always there waiting for us with open arms to come to Him.

avec amour soeur hawkes 

So it was Elder Mosley's birthday, so during our lunch hour we decorate his apartment entry way and suprised him!!   He was soups happy!

Also this weekend was La Fete de Wallonie. It was basically a county fair for Liege! we ate such good food!! 

Exchanges with Soeur Whisler!! 

Rain rain go away!! 

Chipotle for lunch in Paris!!!! 

We found rue de la bonne aventure on our way to the Versailles soeurs apartment  (street of the good adventure) we thought it was very fitting

On the train to Brussells where we'll catch the train to Paris...oufti 

on our way to the gare after running home to pack bags for Paris!!! 

There were some nuns in the gare!! haha can you see them standing behind us? everyone in this country ALWAYS thinks we're nuns!! not quite haha 

PARIS!!!!