How firm a foundation

This week was... really really difficult. But wonderful as well. I suppose the bitter always comes with the sweet. 

Wednesday we went into Paris and I said goodbye to my Soeur Hosking. ouch. my heart broke a little bit. She has been my BEST friend for the past 8 weeks and she was leaving me! But I know that the people in Nancy need her more than I do now and obviously we'll be best friends for the rest of our lives. Heavenly Father is way too kind to me, always giving me best friends for companions! Then the trainers had a little formation and we learned some essentials about how to help our new missionaries and then they ushered the new missionaries in. The first sister that came in, I recognized immediately as mine. I didn't know her name or anything at all yet but I knew she would be my companion. And I felt SO much love her already, it was like Heavenly Father was giving me just a teeny tiny portion of His love. It was seriously so cool! She is Soeur Courtney Clawson from Centerville Utah. When I found out she was a fellow Utah Stater I almost died of happiness! The crazy thing is, her sister is best friends with my old roommates!! the world is so small. And then our adventures commenced. 

First off, it was 4 Soeurs against 8 giant suitcases, cobble stoned streets and broken escalators, so naturally we missed our train back to Belgium. And then we couldn't exchange our tickets so we missed the next one and then our phones weren't working so we couldn't receive our new tickets so we missed another train. Finally we got on a train around 5:30 our poor blues were SO exhausted. I felt so terrible! We eventually made it home to Liege in one piece thank goodness.

Thursday we began our missionary work and I was absolutely amazed by Soeur Clawson. They say perfect love casteth out fear and that perfectly describes my companion. She just loves everyone to pieces and isn't afraid to speak up even if she doesn't know how to say it perfectly in French. She is a much better missionary than I could ever hope to be already. She has helped me so much in just the few days that we have been together! We are actually very similar in our perfectionist ways so she's had a lot of advice for me and its been so fun getting to know her! 

This past week I felt like I was back to square one. I was making the same old mistakes I thought I had gotten rid of. It was like everything I thought I had overcome was back, like I hadn't changed at all despite this past year. I couldnt understand why! But then we went to General Conference and I felt like God was talking directly to me, I received so much inspiration. He opened my eyes to see that even though I was making the same mistakes and was struggling with the same weaknesses I thought I had overcome, I was reacting in a completely different way than I had last year. I am so much stronger now than I was a year ago. Heavenly Father let me struggle with the same things to allow me to see how much I really have changed. This past year I have been slowly laying my foundation upon my Savior Jesus Christ. Bit by bit, I have come to know of the reality of the Atonement for myself and it wasn't until the winds came that I realized how far I have come with the help of my Savior. I know that He is our only firm foundation and that through Him we can change and become better. Sister Esplin talked about the Sacrament in conference and I loved that she said we should note the mistakes that we make and how to improve but more importantly we should recognize the moments that the Savior has offered us His enabling power to strengthen us. I know that the Savior is with me each step of every day. I simply could not do this without Him and I am so grateful for the opportunity to proudly wear this missionary badge. My mission means everything to me. I have been so blessed and so changed by this experience. Thank you to everyone for supporting me and praying for me, I feel your prayers! I love you all soo much.

avec amour soeur hawkes