Oh my lanta what a week of miracles! Tuesday we had the opportunity to give a presentation about the Church at the local University to a group of students and we were so scared. The Elders told us about it the night before so we spent our studies planning everything we would say. Soeur Clawson was pretty nervous about it because it's her first week in the field speaking French but we planned it out well enough that she felt pretty comfortable. Until we met up with the Elders to go over with them. They had just gotten off the phone with the man who deals with the public affairs of the Church in Europe and he told us that instead of teaching doctrine we needed to teach about how our church benefits society. We found this out 30 minutes before our presentation. Naturally we had a minor heart attack but were able to figure it out and with the Lord's help it went really well. it was really cool because we were able to break all of the stereotypical ideas of Mormons that most people have and to really show who we truly are, it was a neat experience.
Thursday night we had about 15 minutes before we had to be home so we walked around centreville talking to people but everyone was totally rejecting us and we were getting a little worn out. We finally turned around to head home and we decided to talk to one last person. God always saves the best for the last because our last contact was a lovely lady named Nelly, she was so excited when we told her about the Plan of Salvation and couldnt wait to read the brochure and learn more. Her kindness to us was defnitely a miracle from God :)
On Saturday,Soeur Clawson and I went out contacting in the morning and met so many wonderful people! We talked with one girl, Chama about our Church and the Book of Mormon. Get this. She ASKED for a copy of it!!!! so we happily gave her one and took her number! We're hoping to see her later this week :)
As I said this week was full of miracles and one of them was the simple fact that Heavenly Father was trying to teach me about self-forgiveness. So many things went wrong this week and I struggled so much with my weaknesses as I made countless mistakes over and over again. I kept beating myself up all week long for the things that I was doing wrong. Finally on Sunday at church I was just praying and thinking and I randomly thought of a quote Soeur Bradley had given me once, it says, "The Holy Ghost will fill you with Godly sorrow unto repentance in a manner that fills you with hope of positive change, needless guilt comes from Satan." and I suddenly realized that all the guilt and discouragement I felt was completely unnecessary and more importantly not from God. In my weak, mortal state I cannot do good all the time. I simply cant be perfect no matter how much I want it. I have to learn to give myself permission to be human and have weaknesses! I read a great article this morning that said, "The paradoxical antidote to excessive guilt and anxiety is to increase our tolerance for being wrong, at fault or out of control. We can do this by increasing our trust in God's capacity to make all things, even bad things, work together for good. Our anxiety will actually diminish as we stop trying to be faultless to a fault and in control of the uncontrollable. Instead of working overtime to be in control, we work to deepen our trust in both God's love and our own timid toughness." When I cling to my weaknesses and mistakes that prevents me from overcoming them, when I beat myself up I'm denying the Atonement of my Savior and the opportunity to change that it gives me. Our Heavenly Father is completely aware that we are not perfect and that we will make mistakes no matter how much we try to avoid them. Because of His loving kindness He gave us His Son Jesus Christ whose grace is sufficient for all of us.I am so grateful that Heavenly Father reminded me of that wonderful truth this week, that I don't have to be perfect and because of the Savior's love, I can leave my weaknesses behind little by little.
avec amour soeur hawkes
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