Sept. 23, 2013

Ma Famille!!!!

 

This mission has been sooo amazing!!! And so so so difficult! I absolutely LOVE LOVE my companion Soeur Mason. She is from California and she has 5 years of French. She knows A TON  and is VERY willing to help me with my French. All the missionaries in my district have French background except Elder Toscano. My teacher is Frere Laguan. He just got back from his mission in Montreal in June. I love him like a brother! He loves us and helps us so much it's amazing!! Class is my favorite part because it's fun to learn with him. I thought I was prepared until I came here. Then I realized I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! haha but it's great because I'm learning! We have a TON of study time and sometimes I get overwhelmed with how much time but how much I want to or should be studying I don't know where to begin! The first night we were here we had a teaching experience and it was absolutely AMAZING! we had mock lessons and the spirit was sooo strong! That's why I'm here. To bring happiness and joy and hope to those who don't have it! We taught two lecons last week. Our ami de l'eglise (investigator) is Sebastien and he is studying English at BYU. Our first lecon went great, Soeur Mason did most of the talking-she's amazing. AFterwards I cried because I was frustrated I couldn't understand him. and I was so afraid to speak! But I studied and studied and prayed really hard and our second lecon went a lot better. I was able to understand him a lot more and tell him things as well! The spirit was very very strong and I think he's progressing however I find it overwhelming how much I want to teach him but I don't want to confuse him and because of the language barrier there isn't much time to go over everything I would want to discuss. But I know the Lord will help me because I'm doing his work! SAturday I got a letter from the Clinic center asking me to do a survey about my anxiety. and it gave me anxiety! I was very very sick saturday and sunday after that and quite a bit this morning. I have anxiety about having anxiety! I feel as though I can't be a good missionary if I have anxiety but we went to the temple today and I felt much better. I have also memorized Ether 12:27 en francais and repeat it to myself quite  abit :) I can pray in French now!!! it's very slow and some of it is a mixture of english but I can!!! And I can bear my testimony in French as well. A very very simple one but a testimony :) The Elders in our district are something else. I love them as brothers and they are SOO kind to us. Soeur Mason and I are only the sisters in the district so we get lots of respect and attention hah Elder Toscano is our district leader and he gets a little crazy after he eats. Yesterday we ate lunch and he looks at Soeur Mason and says J'aime the way you eat! It was HILARIOUS because she jsut stared at him! I laugh too much at the elders and get distracted and Soeur M just gives them this look and they tone it down. She is so classy and composed! Unlike me who is either laughing or crying haha  Elder T's french is terrible but his heart is so so good. The other Elders feel like my older brothers and I really feel like we're a family although Soeur M and I frequently get irritated with their immature behavior. On Saturday Elder T came to sit next to us and said I have to ask you sisters a question. And we're thinking it's important and he's like do you ever talk in scripture with your friends back home? He's is tres bizarre! but we love im and he is very kind and understanding. The first few days Soeur Mason and I were in a trio with Soeur HAfen (who I met this summer briefly at Old Farm) because her companion was missing so it took a few days to sort that out and she moved districts but she's still in our room with her companion Seour Grunke from Germany. I love being a missionary although I frequently get overwhelmed the Spirit here just feels you up completely! The food here is really terrible unless I'm starving-then it's edible. Because of my anxiety lately I haven't eaten much but I'm doing great :) I keep running into Emily Edwards and it's strange to call her Sister Edwards! Also Sister Justine Liebel hunted me down and came to see me everyday! She flew to Tennessee this morning.  

I love this gospel and the experiences I'm having! I do love having everything planned out but there' s so much I want to learn sometimes I don't know where to begin! Please send Dear Elders!! :) I am very homesick and it does add to my anxiety unfortunately but Soeur Mason strengthens me and reminds me of my purpose. Being a missionary is very hard but it's very rewarding!  I'm sorry I keep throwing French in I no longer speak english but Franglish! haha it's wonderful! I love doing companionship inventory it's one of my favorite parts because we just tell each other our strengths and it helps me see myself as a good missionary. Although yesterday Elder T sat in on it with us and it was rather strange but he was like I just want to be able to understand you sisters so I can serve you better! Ooh lala...c'est tres bizarre mais fantastique!

I love being a missionary. Yes it is very hard and discouraging at times but then you feel the Spirit so strongly telling you this is where you belong and that The Lord will help you do it and I know that this church is true! I know that My Sauveur lives and loves me! I know through the enabling Power of His Atonement I will be the missionary He knows I can be.! 

I love you all beaucoup beaucoup!!! You're always in my prayers!!!

Letters are easier to respond to since I don't have much time on the computer just so you know :)

Avec Amour, 

Soeur Hawkes