Fall down seven times, Stand up eight.

This week was... interesting. But really good and full of miracles as always but also...it was just a week that things were hard. Sometimes it is seriously so hard. I don't mean to complain but let's be honest, in life there are times when things are just hard and we don't exactly know why. We don't know what's going on or where God is at. 

Tuesday was probably the most absurd day of my entire life. I can't remember all the details, I think I blocked them from my memory but everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong! We showed up at the church for district meeting and had completely forgotten that the Elders had changed it to Wednesday not Tuesday! so we wasted SO much time getting to and from the church and that was a wonderful beginning to our day...then throughout the day things just kept going wrong. it was seriously so terrible. we spent a good hour looking for an adress that did not exist and we missed buses or took the wrong ones and by the end of the day I was so spent and worn out and we were walking home, so discouraged and just tired and there in the middle of our path is Drunk Man. we just call him that because every time we see him he is drunk and yelling at people and being scary. He hangs out a lot in our neighborhood and he's pretty sketchy, he has chased the sisters a few times and even grabbed them! So we ran away from him all the way home just to be safe and that was the end of the most ridiculous day.

Now for the moral of the story just like you expected :)

Sometimes Heavenly Father lets hard things happen. And these things weren't even that terrible. I've definitely had worse days for sure. But the things that happened I KNEW I could have prevented. But they happened anyway. why?

This week I had been studying about the Atonement and learning to forgive myself and to really put into practice the things I have been learning about. I have been trying so hard to learn to allow myself to make mistakes and to laugh instead of groan and to really just find the joy in missionary work despite all the searching for imaginary addresses and running from scary drunk men or getting rejected and mocked. Heavenly Father in His kind and loving way had provided me with opportunities that gave me the choice to apply what I had been studying and learning or to fall back into old habits. He let all those absurd things happen so I could learn to laugh at myself and to let go and trust that He knows me and He knows what is going on. 

I think that is one of the many themes of my mission. learning to trust God and making the conscious effort to see His hand in my life. To daily realize that He is there, that He knows me and what is going on in my life. 

I had been waiting for Dad's letter for TWO weeks. And it came on Saturday. But we spent the weekend in Le Mans for Stake Conference so I didn't get it until Sunday night. But I am really glad that it came when it did. Because like I said this week was just a little difficult. and that letter really helped me remember why I was out here and that truly God knows each one of us personally  and loves us more than we know. Constantly throughout my mission I have been reassured over and over of this truth. I have never felt His love so constantly and so surely before. He reminds me every day and I can see His hand in my life if I just look for it. And it isn't even that hard to find, there are evidences every where I turn! Like Lea. 

We were able to meet with her again Friday night and we SET A BAPTISMAL DATE WITH HER!!!!!!!!! I am so excited for her. She is so prepared and so full of faith! She started reading the Book of Mormon and LOVES it and she is so excited that it is true and not changed like the Bible is. She asks golden questions and cannot wait to be baptized. She just really gets it. She is a huge blessing in my life. I adore her so much and I cant believe how lucky I am! Heavenly Father is much too kind to let me be here in Tours to meet all these amazing people! She said that we are her family here. Tugged at my heart strings! I adore her. 

Sunday night we were also able to stop by and see Helene. The older lady we met porting last week. She is so sweet. She told us she didn't want to meet with us until she had finished with the Book of Mormon so naturally we just showed up uninvited and she let us in to talk with her about the restoration and the gospel. She is really ready too. She kept telling us that there was something missing in the Catholic church and she hopes we can help her figure out what it is. Uhh yeah we can!! I love her so much, she is so sincere and genuine and is seeking for the truth and it just makes me soo grateful because I have the truth! All of my life I have been blessed to have the truth and the best part is I get to be here and have the opportunity to share it!! So this week we are going to go back with the Elders to give her a blessing because she broke her foot a couple weeks ago. Yesterday she asked if we had the same miracles that Jesus did because we are his restored church. and we were so excited to tell her yes and explain the priesthood a little so we offered her a blessing and she was really excited about it so I can't wait to go back so she can have that experience! 

Even though there are those silly absurd days and the hard weeks and the struggles and stress that go along with missionary life, I really wouldn't be anywhere else. I am so happy and content here. I have a wonderful companion, fabulous branch members who take care of us, and amazing amies who love us and the gospel! I have family and friends that support me and I feel so blessed all the time! It can't get any better! Heavenly Father is so so kind to us and if there is anything I have learned on my mission it's that He is there. Always. Watching over us and blessing us as much as He can! He loves us so much more than we can comprehend and I am so grateful for this knowledge because it brings a peace and a happiness and hope you can't find anywhere else! 

quote for the week... "We may not feel deeply enough to know joy unless our hears have been hollowed out by sorrow. A heart may not be big enough to know real joy until it has been stretched and pulled by trials and hard things" 

thank you so much for your support and prayers. I love you all more than you know! 
all my love, soeur alicia hawkes