If you argue for your limitations...you get to keep them.

Well this week I have learned many, many things. 

First off, comparison is the thief of joy. 

there's a quote I love that Soeur Bradley shared with me that says, 

            "Don't compare yourself to others, you'll either end up vain or bitter." 

Whoa. and it is so true. This past week I spent much of my time comparing myself and it left me feeling unhappy and I was missing the peace I had found here on my mission. I read this talk (that Soeur Bradley gave me..I adore her, she is always giving me quotes and talks!) anyway this talk is really great and it opened my eyes quite a bit. The woman talks about how many times in our lives we are waiting until we are perfect to be happy. She says, "I believe in a God who loves us and roots for us and cheers for every good thing we can manage to do. Our victories are His victories and He wants us to feel joy. Not later, when we no longer make mistakes, but right now." The beauty of the Atonement is that we never have to be perfect but that each new day is clean without any mistakes in it! We have the opportunity to try anew every day to become more like the people we want to be. So why waste our time on our weaknesses and the things that we do wrong? Our Heavenly Father sent us here to be happy! And I've found, the only way to be truly happy is to accept myself the way I am and to be continually striving to become the person Heavenly Father sees. I don't need to lead with my weaknesses but lead with my strengths as Elder Holland says, acknowledge that I have weaknesses and that I struggle but then fully acknowledge that I have strengths as well. I had an epiphany this week. Everyone has weaknesses, but some people just do a better job of hiding them. Because they spend their time polishing their strengths and using their talents than overanalyzing their weaknesses and mourning their shortcomings. If I argue for my limitations I get to keep them. So I'm throwing them out the window! I don't need them and I don't want them! Heavenly Father has given me specific qualities and talents that the people here in Tours need. They need me. But I can't use my strenghts if I'm obsessing over my flaws or because I don't have the same talents as my companion or the STLs or any other missionary. Soeur Bradley said to me this week, "Superheroes don't get jealous of other superheroes. Superman isn't going to stop being Superman just because he can't shoot spiderwebs out of his wrists like Spiderman. Superman uses the strengths and talents he's been given to help people. And that is what we need to do too." I absolutely love that. I don't need to be anyone else but me. And that gives me a peace I haven't found anywhere else. 

This Wednesday is my halfway mark. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. Nine months. My life has been completely and forever changed by the past nine months. I am definitely not the same person. It is so strange to think how much I have changed. C. S. Lewis said, Day by day nothing changes but looking back, everything is different. And that is absolutely how I feel. I can't believe where I am today. Who I am today. I have a really really long way to go...but I am definitely on the path to becoming who I want to be. And it is all thanks to my mission. Everything that I am and all that I have is thanks to these past nine months and I can't wait to see what the next nine months will bring! My mission means absolutely everything to me. It has changed me and shaped me in ways I have never thought possible. I have learned some of life's hardest things and gone through my deepest trials. But I have experienced joy I would have never had and I have never felt so close to my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I have gained friendships for life and I have learned to appreciate so many things. I can't believe Heavenly Father is letting me have this experience. He is so kind and so loving to each one of us. I am so grateful to Him every single day. I have learned more than anything that He is kind and He loves us so much more than we could ever comprehend. All He wants is our happiness. I am so grateful to Him and the tender mercies He sends to me each day. 

Thank you so much for your love and support and prayers. It means so much to me! 

all my love soeur alicia hawkes